Well how do I start this, I guess you may be surprised that I am writing you a letter. I just wanted to write a little note to you, maybe some encouragement? I guess I just wanted to help.
I cannot stop you from making your life decisions, they will make you the woman you become some 21 years later, I just want to encourage. I think it maybe somewhat awkward talking to you like this, I mean you don’t even know me but in a weird way you do. I have been wanting to do this for a while, but time, being busy, looking after a child, and keeping a home, yeah you read that right, you can now take your mouth off the floor.
That love you had for books and all things literature with a dash of writing and poetry? Well increase that love, and stop thinking that becoming a writer will never happen, that you cannot write don’t let anybody or anything be a hindrance, BELIEVE.
Surround yourself with different people, through all walks of life, engulf yourself in their lives, listen and enjoy them. Allow yourself to dream, you will find that writers come from different paths, and all want to tell an amazing story it is possible Alison.
Oh my goodness!!! You are so shy!! And to be honest you never really brushed that off. As life turns you will realise that confidence is so important, even though it will be an uphill struggle sometimes. Talking of confidence I just wanted to say this, ‘You are worth it’ I know you are rolling you eyes, and I am aware I sound like a tampon commercial but it’s the type of affirmation you don’t quite believe right now. Can I be honest with you? Even at age 37 you will still have trouble believing those four little words, but you do start to try.
As I said to you before, I am not a Fairy God Mother and I cannot stop time, nor can I change it. I just want you to understand that you do get through those troubling years, the same awkward and unsettling years will prepare you for later battles, and later triumphs.
Alison, treat yourself more nicely, speak positive affirmations at least once a day and trust GOD. I wish you loved yourself more, so that when you walk into you first disappointments you brush it off and start again do not let them burn in your heart like an unresolved fire it is, and will be destructive. Release you hurt, and pain by the written word, transport your mind from the teenage angst filled emotive state and fly. I know you have already started doing that through your poetry and writings, continue and believe.
You wear your heart on your sleeve, a weakness maybe, or maybe not I cannot fault that. So naïve, you see the best in people and are often shocked that the best is not always sincere. Unfortunately this will harden you somewhat, you may even come across slightly angry at the world. I wish I could tell you that it will be ok, and that you believe what I am saying, I wish you didn’t doubt so much. I will however say this, people will come and go, they will leave a mark, learn from each of their marks. You are an open book with an unwritten page, people will put marks on your pages, some of these marks will be used as useful and productive text. There will be other markings however, that will be likened to a sad story, a novel with tearful end. And then there will be markings that transcribe into an amazing story of love, endless laughter, and forever smiles, a land of make believe maybe (smile)
You see Alison, It is only now I can look back at this book and all the markings and truly believe, and know that I am blessed. You will see it too, eventually, but until then…
Earlier I spoke about motherhood, and all that comes with it. I guess some things should be left unsaid, just for you to experience all by yourself. Oh just a parting note keep up with technology and that new thing called the Internet, its pretty cool oh and your phone will become an even bigger part of your life than it already is!
Safe (yeah they still say that as well as other crazy words)
Your friend Ali x